Football transfer rumours: Thomas Müller to Manchester United? Again?

Today’s fluff enjoyed its meeting

It really has been a tough few years for Manchester United. Why, there was
this one season where they slipped as low as seventh, and then another year
when they had to make do with fourth and a place in the Champions League
after a devastating one-year absence. But they never stopped getting it
during those dark days. They always believed that one day they would return
to the top. Because they’ve got lots of money, so everything’s fine really,
they can just keep spending and eventually it will all come together.
The Mill doffs its cap in deference to United’s hard graft and their
ability to spot that Bayern Munich’s Thomas Müller might be a good addition
to their attack. United are offering £60m for the German forward, who is
said to be looking forward to finding out whether Wayne Rooney’s legs were
replaced by a couple of rolling pins and his feet by two slices of bread
during the summer.

Related: Chelsea consider making final bid of £40m for Everton’s John Stones

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