The Fiver | Juan Cuadrado’s glittering two-second career at Chelsea

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BREAKFAST SOON DIDN’T TASTE SO GOOD

The Fiver has always been a respectful sort, never the type to chuckle at someone else’s misfortune, so when it heard about the latest stunning developments in the Pedro saga, it did the right thing and held a two-second silence in honour of the likelihood that Special Juan Cuadrado’s glittering two-second career at Chelsea will shortly be coming to an end. It was very emotional. The Fiver thought of all the times that Cuadrado tripped over his own feet. It thought of the underhit crosses against the nearest defender, the shanked passes out of play, the tragedy that there are so many blind allies that the Colombian winger is yet to discover inside Stamford Bridge. It is indeed a cruel world, but in the same way that all good things must come to an end eventually, so must all things that are so underwhelming that The Fiver has forgotten what this paragraph is about. Something about quinoa? Or the best way to eat an apple?

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